Friday, September 30, 2011

The Wheelbarrow


      An old wheelbarrow lay overturned beside a dilapidated shed. It was rusted; the tire was flat; the handles had been broken into splinters. Imagine everything it had experienced, and imagine what it could tell you if it remembered.
      Its early life began in the fiery womb of a foundry, where its steel body took shape. Soon, it was assembled, given arms and legs and a wheel, its namesake mechanism. Afterward, it was shipped to a store, where it waited amongst the lawn mowers and shovels, the leaf blowers and the weed-whackers. Eventually, though, came the wheelbarrow's day to take its leave of the store.
      Its wheel turned and squeaked delightedly out into the sunlight, which reflected off its brilliant metallic surface. A pair of hands pushed it towards a vehicle with four wheels. (Four! How could it be possible?) In a brief moment of confusion, the wheelbarrow floated on two pairs of hands, suspended above the ground. It quickly, but gently, came to rest in the belly of the four-wheeled machine, which clicked and thudded and shrieked into a roar that mellowed into a steady purr.
      And for a short while, the wheelbarrow waited again.
      It hit the driveway with a wince-inducing clang. The humble, one-wheeled cart landed upside-down in its new owner's careless attempt to extract it from his truck with only one hand. The edge of the wheelbarrow's metal basin gained a scratch – it's first sign of use. A pair of hands awkwardly righted the gardening instrument and pushed it back to a shed where it waited a few days more.
      Rain came and rain went, and the soil was left soft and damp. Squishy footsteps approached and gave way to a new set of hands that firmly took hold of the wheelbarrow's handles. The hands guided it to a small mulchy patch of earth. A few ceramic pots thudded gently into the wheelbarrow's stiff and open embrace while the plants that they contained stirred restlessly in the breeze.
      A great weight bore down on the wheel and support rods, but the single-wheeled cart held together sturdily. With a grunt, the hands returned to the handles and guided the cart off through mud, grass, and shallow puddles to another nondescript patch of ground. The pots went as quickly as they came, but the wet grass and soil clung stubbornly to the wheelbarrow's singular rubber tire.
      A sigh was heard, and footsteps carried the hands off, leaving the wheelbarrow alone by a newly-planted flowerbed.
      Days and nights passed, filled with either thankless work or excruciating boredom from having nothing to do. The wheelbarrow was shuttled about as a ferry for flowerpots or a barge for birdseed bags. Some days it rested in the shed, others in whatever corner of the yard it had been left in.
      But a new day came. A small pair of feet came plodding into the yard, followed by a figure of much greater stature. “Can I ride in it?” chirped a voice. No voice replied, but a weight and a warmth suddenly came to rest in the wheelbarrow. A shriek of delight echoed.
      Then the cart's wheel began to turn. At first it groaned, but soon seemed to squeak with delight. The child and her chariot raced around the yard, dodging stumps and flattening weeds. Though the chariot's wheel began to slow, and reluctantly halted when its legs were lowered to the soil again.
      The hands that pushed the wheelbarrow had grown tired. The little charioteer, although disappointed, waved a warm goodbye to her shining, one-wheeled chariot.
      This is perhaps one of the many things that the wheelbarrow would tell you, if it could remember.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Blind

Rainy streets–
footfalls reflect off of wet concrete.
All I knew was I could not run;
I could not hide.
The storm–
It thunders majestically,
and I could see and feel the fear
that shook the sky... and tore apart the town.

Are you alive?
I've searched for you endlessly.
I have run all through the snow,
and through the fog.
Your trail
has led me to its end.
You have left me far behind,
and in the dust... I discovered I was blind.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Due for an Appointment

Temporal Signature: 8,120AAAA
Dear Diary,
      Humans are so egotistical. They think that some great creator laid out a vast and beautiful universe just for them to live in and admire. Actually, the huge size just prevents them from waging intergalactic warfare and spreading violence and destruction too far from their own environment. Same goes for all of the other species, like Shkalicks and Lormens. Really, they're all the same species, but they live in different parts of the universe. I've named them to keep them organized. Other things I'm a bit careless with - I kinda dropped most planets and stars onto space-time and let them float around until they met up, kinda like sliding a bunch of magnets at each other on the floor.

     Anyway, about humans. They're obnoxiously needy too. They keep sending me these weird "prayer" things about wanting to win their little talent shows or passing their school exams. Honestly, I'm not gonna help them - if they can't help themselves, then they don't deserve my assistance. The Shkalicks and Lormens have never asked me for help; they just keep working. They also have a lot fewer wars because they're not constantly bickering about whose "God" is better, nor are they declaring war in my or my son's name. I mean, c'mon, Jesus is just my hippie son. He's a peace-loving guy. He doesn't even like arm wrestling, much less nuclear warfare.

     Oh well. I'll solve the problem soon enough. A while back, I sat down and had a chat with the Mayans. Good people. They gave me lots of gifts, although virgins and animals are rather strange presents (a basket of flowers would be just fine). I told them I'd come down again, and we scheduled a specific time. Since then, the Mayans' civilization has gone, but humans are still in need of a check-up. My calendar has the date marked 8,120AAAB - a time that the humans have taken to calling "the end of the world" or "2012."

     Eh. This oughta be good.

     Signed,
God a.k.a. Allah a.k.a. Yahweh a.k.a. Brahman a.k.a. The Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the rest.

     P.S.: I hope I can find my Cthulu suit. THAT would be cool.