You'll climb upon mountains
and fly away home;
You'll dive under oceans
that glisten like chrome;
You'll sigh over failure
and wish you were home.
and fly away home;
You'll dive under oceans
that glisten like chrome;
You'll sigh over failure
and wish you were home.
It's not a big deal
if you make a mistake;
if you make a mistake;
It's never a problem-
you give and you take;
It's never an issue
until your heart breaks.
you give and you take;
It's never an issue
until your heart breaks.
You'll climb upon mountains
and dive into valleys;
You'll fly over cities
and dive into alleys;
You'll climb upon mountains
and find a new home.
The most jarring thing to me was the second 'home' in the first stanza. I don't like it when people rhyme words with themselves.
ReplyDeleteOverall, though, I enjoyed the poem and the message conveyed. I think second person POV was a good choice.
I, personally, loved this line "It's never an issue
ReplyDeleteuntil your heart breaks" being the pessimist that I am. The whole poem was very well written and I liked the repetition of the first line of the first stanza and the first line of the last stanza :D
Also, the full circle ending was nice too.
ReplyDeleteI too prefer to avoid repetitive rhymes, but here, it felt necessary.
ReplyDeleteI remember where I wrote this. At the start of a health class last year because I was bored.